May 21st, 2012
I cut again. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. I don’t know. There’s something different about this time. A desperation. I don’t even know. I got so lost in my emotions that I really cut deep. I just. The razor. It was in my hand. I pressed it down without thinking about it. I just wanted to feel better and damn it, I cut really deep.
And it won’t stop bleeding.
I mean.
It’s not super deep, the deepest I’ve cut but not super deep. I know it will stop bleeding, but this scares me. Cause this is the first time that I seriously did not mean for me to cut this deep. This is the first time that I didn’t feel some sort of control over this.
And this fucking scares me. I just wish I had someone to talk to, but fuck it, I don’t.
I give up.
